Nancy Grace Is a Bitch

Yesterday's USA Today had a puff piece about CNN legal analyst/harpy Nancy Grace. I've never been a fan of hers. Maybe it's the fact that she can't say anything in a normal tone of voice and always seems to be shrieking at people (even those she agrees with). Maybe it's the fact that after 9/11 she felt qualified to tell the families of those killed and wounded in the attacks how they should feel since she lost her fiance to a homicide years ago. Or maybe it's because the ideas of due process, zealous representation of those accused of crimes, and the presumption of innocence don't really matter in her world. Everybody charged with a crime is guilty because, well, they just are!

But I've never felt compelled to vent about her, until she called me a Nazi:

But, she adds, 'when people say defense lawyers are just doing their jobs and are necessary for our system, you could say that about a lot of people who claim they're just doing their jobs. You could say that about the guards at Auschwitz.'

Well, Nancy, let me say this on behalf of myself and maybe a few of my fellow brother and sister defenders: FUCK YOU.

I hope, someday, that you are charged with a crime, maybe one you didn't actually committ. I hope the analysts review the relevant facts from the cable news networks well before trial and confirm that you're guilty, just as you've done time after time. I hope that you shop around for a really good defense attorney to clear your name and win your case. And I hope nobody takes your case and you are left to represent yourself. Given the legal prowess you demonstrate on TV, you'll surely get the chair.