How Not to Get Out of Jury Duty

Homer Simpson once said:

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Turns out that judges don't think that's very funny:

Daniel Ellis went to rather extreme lengths to avoid getting picked for a grand jury on Cape Cod, asserting on a questionnaire and telling a judge that he was homophobic, a racist, and a habitual liar.

He made it all up, prompting an angry judge on Monday to refer the case to the Cape & Islands district attorney's office for possible charges, which could include perjury.

He was not exactly subtle:

After excusing the other prospective jurors, [Judge] Nickerson, concerned about Ellis's questionnaire, called him back.

'You say on your form that you're not a fan of homosexuals?' Nickerson asked Ellis, according to the preliminary transcript.

'That I'm a racist,' Ellis interrupted, according to the transcript. 'I'm frequently found to be a liar, too.'

'I'm sorry?' Nickerson said.

'I said I'm frequently found to be a liar,' Ellis replied.

'So, are you lying to me now?' asked Nickerson.

'Well, I don't know. I might be,' said Ellis.

Later, Ellis admitted he was trying to get out of jury duty.

'Well, I just . . . I don't think I can handle it,' he said.

Remember, kids, there are worse things that getting stuck doing jury duty!