Monday, August 21, 2006

Dumb Judicial Tricks

Sometimes you wonder just what it takes to get on the bench. Consider these two tales of judicial lunacy, from opposite sides of the planet.

First, as jedi jawa reported, a trial court judge in Oklahoma was sentenced to four years in prison for exposing himself during trial. My favorite part of this case is:

Thompson, who will register as a sex offender, was convicted June 29 of masturbating while presiding over four trials in 2002 and 2003. Allegations of Thompson using a penis pump surfaced more than two years ago and received national attention.

Former jurors and court staffers testified they saw and heard Thompson using a penis pump. Thompson still denies the accusations.

Read that again. They saw and heard him use the penis pump. What, pray tell, was the witnesses frame of reference for what a penis pump sounds like? Looks like I can understand (I've seen Austin Powers, after all), but sound? Must have been some interesting cross-examination.

But, at least ex-Judge Thompson was fully in possession of his faculties while he was, um, fully in possession of something else. A judge in the Phillipines has been removed from the bench for consulting with "mystic dwarves:

He told investigators three mystic dwarves - Armand, Luis and Angel - had helped him to carry out healing sessions during breaks in his chambers.

The court said psychic phenomena had no place in the judiciary.
Well, that's reassuring. Why am I more concerned that the mystic dwarves (great band name, BTW - particularly on a double bill with Gentle Giant!) had names?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the judge in Oklahoma was making his "Oh" face during trials.

At least he didn't yell out "Cross-examine this!" or "Who's your daddy!?!"

....yeah, I've got nothing better to do.

JD Byrne said...

I'm wondering if there's a reference to Learned Hand in there somehwere, too!