Smilin' Bob Goes Limp

I always figured that Enzyte was a scam, but I never realized quite the dimensions of it. Via SL&P, the man behind the "male enhancement" pills and their ubiquitous pitchman, CEO Steven Warshak, is on his way to the federal pen for a long long time:

Steven Warshak did more than lie to banks, hide his money and mislead thousands of customers who bought his “male enhancement” pills, a federal judge said today.

He also dragged his family and friends through a legal mess that left many of them broke and, in some cases, on their way to prison.

The judge said it’s a tragedy caused by Warshak’s ego and greed.

'Not only is Steve Warshak corrupt, but he corrupted members of his family and good people who worked for him,' U.S. District Judge S. Arthur Spiegel said. 'He gambled with their lives. Steve Warshak was blinded by his arrogance.'

Spiegel then sentenced Warshak to 25 years in prison and ordered him, his company and some members of his family to repay more than $500 million.

Warshak's 75-year-old mother got two years for her troubles, as well. What exactly did he do?

Prosecutors said the slick ads masked a criminal enterprise that involved false advertising, fraudulent bank documents, hidden profits and unauthorized charges on customer credit cards.

The key to the scheme was Berkeley’s 'continuity program,' which automatically charged additional orders of Enzyte to credit cards each month. The program was not fully disclosed in ads, and customers who complained were given the run-around or referred to a 'quality control' officer who did not exist.

I generally don't have a whole lot of sympathy for fraud victims - c'mon, did you really think a little pill (available without a prescription, no less!) is going to make your dick bigger? - but this apparently went well beyond mere fraud.

And I will say this - several of the crack cases I'm working on now involve sentences of similar lengths. At least the product those guys sold got you buzzed as advertised!