One Jury Duty Strategy

Homer Simpson once advised that

[g]etting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

That's one strategy. Here's another, from a disgruntled Montanan. When asked to explain why he couldn't do jury duty, he wrote (including grammar oddities):

Apparently you morons didn't understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I'm not putting my familys wellbeing at stake To participate in this crap. I don't believe in our 'justice' system and I don't want to have a goddam thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete wast of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F__k alone.

I can't recommend such, um, candor with the court, but I have to admit that it worked in that case. The guy avoided both jury duty and a contempt charge. I wouldn't bet on other judges to have quite the same sense of humor, however.