Revenge Old Glory

Let's see: we're bogged down in an unpopular war without end in Iraq while next door neighbor Iran develops a nuclear program, one of our largest government programs of the last century is on the verge of bankruptcy that nobody seems able or willing to avoid, and the general tone of political debate is breaking down to the level of "yo' mama" jokes. So what does this country need to pull it out its funk? A flag burning amendment!

That's right, the perennial favorite of the "USA love it or leave it" crowd is back. A Constitutional amendment that would allow (but not require, to be fair) Congress to pass legislation outlawing "physical desecration" of the US flag passed the House this week and has its best chance in years of passing the Senate. The goal is to overturn two Supreme Court cases from 15 years ago that declared flag desecration was a form of speech protected by the First Amendment.

The Court was right, of course, and we should reject any attempt to mess with the First Amendment to deal with a non-existent problem. When was the last time you saw a flag burned in this country? It can be argued that the Supreme Court rulings actually decreased the instances of flag burning because it was no longer illegal and thus no longer a ticket to free publicity for the arrest.

And the folks who support the amendment can't bring themselves to be honest and admit they want to repress speech and political dissent. They go on about how it's not really speech, but then will go on at greater length about what seeing a flag being burnt effects them. Sounds like a pretty effecting speech act to me! We've long ago done away with the idea that speech and acts that communicate a message are separate things. Just fess up and admit you want to repress people, although probably a very very tiny group of people.

But if the amendment does pass, I'm going to petition the West Virginia legislature to criminalize all kinds of flag uses I find offensive. Politicians who stand in front of the flag at rallies while lying through their teeth? Desecration, as far as I'm concerned. Articles of clothing made from the flag? Desecration, especially if they're too-tight cutoff shorts. After 9/11 I actually saw patriotic diapers for sale with an Old Glory design on them. Letting your rug rat take a shit in the flag? Definitely desecration!

And what of burning other flags? I'm sure there are lots of first-generation immigrants from places like Mexico or Guatemala that are no happier about seeing their flags burned than the Stars and Stripes. Can we still desecrate those? What about state flags? A burning WV flag would probably piss me off a bit. What of the flag in the United States that provokes the most negative feelings, the Confederate battle flag, i.e., the Stars and Bars? Do you really want a Constitution that doesn't allow some completely out of the mainstream loony to burn Old Glory but allows us to freely fire up the Stars and Bars?

I'm no fan of flag burning. In spite of my generally cynical attitude, I actually take pride in the Stars and Stripes from time to time. I incorporated the flag in my autocross graphics scheme in the months after 9./11. When the US national team plays, I don my World Cup 2002-era replica jersey - red, white, and blue with the flag as part of the USSF crest right over my heart. And I yearn for the day when Scott Speed stands on the top step of an F1 podium after his first win, while the flag waives behind him and "The Star Spangled Banner" plays on. I'm just saying this isn't a problem that needs fixed and it sure as hell shouldn't be fixed by stifling free speech.