New York Times Annexed by Colbert Nation

Stephen Colbert is many things - genius, patriot, bear fighter - and now he's become an Op-Ed columnist for the New York Times. Specifically, he's taken up Maureen Dowd's invitation to write her column for today:

He was observing, approvingly, that 'Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.'

I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to 'shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.'

In the process, Colbert's ruthless efficiency killed two birds with one stone:

Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

By the end of the day, he'll conquer the whole Op-Ed page!