Yeah, But They're Still Drummers

The forefront of medical research - doctors in England hooked Blondie drummer Clem Burke up to a bunch of instruments to measure the workout he gets during a gig. The results are sort of surprising:

Playing the drums for a rock band requires the stamina of a Premiership footballer, research suggests.

Tests on Clem Burke, the veteran Blondie drummer, revealed that 90 minutes of drumming could raise his heart rate to 190 beats a minute.

Despite rock's reputation for unhealthy living, Dr Marcus Smith, from Chichester University, said drummers needed 'extraordinary stamina'".

A hour in concert could burn between 400 and 600 calories, he said.

And that, it has to be said, is coming from a guy who is not exactly a whirling dervish on the skins. I'd imagine a Mike Portnoy or Neil Peart, not to mention Terry Bozio, might top those numbers.

As it turns out, rock drummers might be even more fit than Prem footballers:

He found that during a performance, his heart averaged between 140 and 150 beats a minute, peaking at 190, levels comparable to other top athletes.

However, Dr Smith said that while top footballers were expected to perform once or twice a week, drummers on tour would be doing it every night at a different venue.

I'll leave it to the haters to argue about whether all this info means drummers are really that fit or top-level footballers are just wussies. Assuming the best, drummers are still just . . . well, drummers.

Q: How can you tell of the drum riser is level?
A: The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Hey, I'm a lawyer - I've got to take easy targets when I see them!

BTW, be sure and check out the video embedded in the BBC article and turn up the volume. It goes to 11!