You Think You've Got Problems

From Cary Tennis's advice column at Salon today:

Anyway, we were all at Sea World and it was hotter than hell, so we decided to go to a show to cool off for a while. It was one of those shows where the dolphins jump up and do tricks and then the big killer whale splashes everybody with water. And at this show I started watching the dolphins jump around, and it just captivated me. I admired their soft slippery skin. It was just so exotic; I had never felt that way before. Looking at those soft underbellies and long slender fins was like seeing the face of God. I came out of my dolphin-induced trance and wiped the sweat from my brow. It was then that I realized that I had an aching erection. I became alarmed, but that only made it throb harder. For the entire rest of the show I tried my damnedest to keep my arousal in check, but every glance I took at the cetaceans in the pool below induced a surge of hormones from my perspiring testicles.

Yeah, OK, it's too funny to be true (which Cary figures out), but it is funny! The remaining question is did the writer intend to be found out or did (s)he think it might generate a serious answer? In either case, maybe the letter writer was inspired by last night's episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!