Thursday, September 28, 2006

Flash Fiction Friday #5

Another Friday, another short short story. This one was tough - my first pass was at nearly 800 words before I got the title item involved! Enjoy and, as always, read all the entries for this week.

NOTE: I've taken this story down for retooling and/or submission elsewhere.

4 comments:

Bk30 said...

okay you were freaking me out..but I love the twist. great job!

Kara said...

That was really creepy for a while there, but I loved that it didn't end that way.

Cave Dweller said...

I liked this a lot. Good story to sink one's teeth into. Underlying darkness throughout, then a nice satisfying ending.

Uprooted said...

That was great--goosebumps without horror/slasher stuff.

I don't know if others would agree, but I think it ends really naturally right after "Then he went back to bed and, for the first time in three days, went to sleep."