Highly intoxicated and dissatisfied with her sex life, a 28-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday for stealing her husband's wallet and later assaulting the deputy who booked her into jail.Now, I'm not a married man, but I imagine that if the lady of the house rouses you in the middle of the night to "have relations," that is not the best time to explain your new found religious prudery to her.
The meltdown, which deputies witnessed along with the couple's 3- and 4-year-old children, started when the husband, 24, had told his wife they had three hours to quit smoking, drinking, swearing and engaging in some sex acts because "they were going to be good Christians now," the woman said.
The man said she had woken him up to have relations, but then became disappointed and angry.
Not that the wife is completely innocent of loony behavior:
During an argument with one of the deputies, the woman picked up the family's 20-pound dog and threw it at the deputy, who caught it, the report said.Nice catch, deputy! Sadly, the wife had the same problem on the way to the police station that so many of mine do - she has the right to remain silent, but not the ability:
The deputy who drove the woman to jail reported she questioned his manhood, asked God to forgive him because 'he knows not what he does,' and 'donkey-kicked' him in the shin while he attempted to walk her from his patrol car to the jail, reports said.Donkey kicked?