Can't We Have a Real Planet?

Over at Slate, Rod Smolla makes the timeless observation: "Prosecutors are from Neptune, defense attorneys are from Pluto." Smolla's point is that it seems to take a different kind of psychological makeup to be a prosecutor versus a defense lawyer. I agree with him. I don't think I could ever wield the power of the state to send someone to prison. At least not most of the pathetic souls who actually end up there. Similarly, most of the prosecutors I've dealt with don't appear to have the empathy to represent people charged with crimes. I'm referring here to long-term partisans on either side: prosecutors, full-time criminal defense attorneys, and public defenders. Anybody else is just a part timer.

Having said all that, can't we defenders at least get a real planet, not one who's very existence is the subject of debate? How about Jupiter? It's my favorite part of The Planets, anyway.